the supreme court of ohio rules that a man can legally be called a "hamster" if he eats an entire bag of shredded cheese in one sitting, AITA for thinking this is the most important case of our generation?

the supreme court of ohio rules that a man can legally be called a "hamster" if he eats an entire bag of shredded cheese in one sitting, AITA for thinking this is the most important case of our generation?
TL;DR: Ohio's finest legal minds have decreed that dietary choices, specifically consuming 2 lbs of pre-shredded cheddar, can officially change your species classification. Finally, the hard-hitting jurisprudence we've all been waiting for while our roads crumble.