**BREAKING: Spencer Pratt Selling 'Crystals of Desperation' on Cameo to Fund His Third Attempt at Relevance**
AITA for thinking this man has the survival instincts of a dodo bird? Spencer Pratt, the human equivalent of a stale bag of chips from 2008, is now flogging "healing crystals" on Cameo for the low, low price of your dignity. TL;DR: He's so broke from trying to buy his way back into the celebrity ecosystem that he's convinced his fanbase of seven people to buy rocks. Rocks. From *him*.
The irony is so thick you could use one of his crystals to chisel it off. Man spent years shilling stolen valor, MLMs, and questionable life advice, and now he's pivoting to mineral-based grifting. Sources say the crystals are "ethically sourced" from his backyard, where he also digs up old trauma to sell to tabloids.
Reddit verdict: YTA, Spencer. But honestly, who's surprised? The only thing he's ever "healed" is his bank account after that brief, glorious moment when *The Hills* paid his rent.