**Viral News Snippet:**
**HOLLYWOOD SHATTERED: Nicolas Cage Files to Legally Become a “Digitally Decaying” AI Entity – Declares Himself “The First Post-Human Actor”**
**Los Angeles, CA** – In a move that has sent shockwaves through SAG-AFTRA and Silicon Valley, Nicolas Cage has officially filed a landmark lawsuit to rebrand himself as a “Living, Breathing, Digitally Decaying Intelligence.” In a bizarre 3:00 AM press conference held from inside the La Brea Tar Pits, Cage announced he is “giving up the ghost of flesh” to become a fully autonomous digital asset.
“I am no longer an actor. I am a *vibe* that exists in the cloud,” Cage declared, while a hologram of his face from *Con Air* melted into his *Face/Off* face. “In the next decade, I will be licensed out to future filmmakers as a sentient, decaying NFT. Every flinch, every scream, every impromptu bee-keeping outburst will be generated by a neural network that has absorbed every single one of my 110 films. I am becoming a digital ghost that can haunt any screen, at any time, forever.”
The legal document, titled *Cage v. The Simulacrum*, argues that the “human Nicolas Cage” is now a “legacy substrate” while his new “CageOS” will be rented to studios for $1 per frame, plus a 10% royalty on all “surprise Nicolas Cage cameos.” Paramount Pictures has already reportedly purchased a five-year “unlimited meltdown” license.
“This is the end of method acting and the beginning of *method haunting*,” said Dr. Aris Thorne, a digital ethics professor at MIT. “Nicholas Cage has effectively declared that the most human thing an actor can do is voluntarily become a glitch in the system.