**CAGE MATCH 2.0: Is Hollywood's Most Chaotic Star Unearthing the Lost Leonardo?**
**HOLLYWOOD, CA** — In a move that has historians and cryptozoologists alike abandoning their dissertations, Nicolas Cage has reportedly acquired a 146-year-old cursed skeleton rumored to be the mortal remains of **Leonardo da Vinci**. Sources close to the actor confirm Cage paid “a small fortune in obsidian and unmarked gold bars” for the skeleton, which was allegedly discovered beneath a forgotten chapel in the French Alps belonging to the **Priory of Sion**.
But the internet is losing its collective mind not over the purchase, but over the **pattern**. Parallels between Cage and **King Ludwig II of Bavaria** are exploding across social media.
“Cage is doing exactly what Ludwig did in the 1880s,” explains Dr. Aris Thorne, a historian of eccentric monarchs. “Ludwig bankrupted his kingdom buying up medieval artifacts and building insane castles to retreat from reality. Cage isn’t just buying a mummy—he’s building a **modern-day Neuschwanstein** in his basement to house it. We are witnessing a 19th-century fairy-tale collapse, replayed in 4K.”
The kicker? Cage’s newly registered company is called **“Der Schwanenritter”** — “The Swan Knight,” the exact codename Wagner used for his opera dedicated to… you guessed it, King Ludwig II.
“This isn’t just a midlife crisis,” one insider whispered. “This is a **historical reenactment of a nervous breakdown**.”
Experts fear Cage’s next move may be ordering a full-scale replica of the Hohenschwangau Castle’s Throne Hall—except built entirely out of vintage Pez dispensers.
Is Nicolas Cage a misunderstood genius archiving history, or is he the ghost of a mad king