**HOLLYWOOD — In what historians are calling the “most Nicolas Cage thing to ever happen,” the Oscar-winning actor has reportedly purchased a 14th-century Scottish castle to house his collection of 40 rare comic books — only to discover that the castle was built directly over a cursed Viking burial site that local lore claims inspired the original *National Treasure* map.**
“This feels eerily similar to the ‘Curse of the Hope Diamond’ scenario, where each owner met a bizarre fate,” says Dr. Lila Vance, pop culture historian at UCLA. “Cage isn’t just reliving the Hollywood Glut of 1997 — he’s creating a new historical pattern: the ‘B-Movie Monarch’ phase of celebrity.”
The twist? Experts confirm the castle’s original 1300s lord — a eccentric collector of illuminated manuscripts — was also named Niccolò. “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it sometimes casts Nicolas Cage in a sequel,” Vance adds. “We’re witnessing the birth of the Cagean Dark Ages. Next stop: him declaring himself Holy Roman Emperor of Las Vegas.”