**ACTOR NICOLAS CAGE VANISHES FROM ALL STREAMING PLATFORMS, REPLACED BY A SINGLE, UNKNOWN MAN NAMED “STEVE”**
*A viral glitch in the Matrix? Or a broken simulation?*
**LOS ANGELES, CA** – In what tech analysts are calling “the most unnerving data anomaly since the Mandela Effect,” every single Nicolas Cage film has inexplicably vanished from all major streaming services—Netflix, Prime, Hulu, and even the Criterion Channel.
But it gets weirder. In their place? A single, unbranded title: *“Steve: The Man Who Wasn't There.”* The movie is 98 minutes long, features a single actor credited as “The Steve,” and depicts a man silently eating birthday cake alone in a dimly lit room.
“We ran a comparison algorithm,” says Dr. Lena Hart, a senior data integrity engineer. “The metadata for every Cage film—*Face/Off*, *Leaving Las Vegas*, *The Rock*—doesn’t just go missing. The ISIN codes are now reading as corrupt ‘Steve’ entries. It’s like his entire filmography was swapped for a single, synchronized placeholder. And no studio has a record of a film called *Steve*.”
Fans are reporting the strangest part: everyone seems to recognize the face of “The Steve” but can’t place it. “He looks like… a guy I knew in college?” posted one bewildered Redditor. “But also maybe my dentist? And a little bit like my grandpa? He’s the most forgettable human being alive.”
The kicker? Cage’s personal website now redirects to a single JPEG: a photo of a cat wearing a tiny tuxedo, captioned “MY WORK IS DONE HERE.”
Is this a publicity stunt for his upcoming film? A deep-state