**CLASS-1 LEAK // ORIGIN UNCERTAIN // FOR YOUR EYES ONLY**
**DEEP COVER BREACH: "HALF-PINT" ASSET COMPROMISED**
**Dateline: [REDACTED]**
The Agency has a problem. *Little House on the Prairie* star Melissa Gilbert—long presumed to be merely a retired child actress and former union president—was identified last night on a dark web financial relay in Liechtenstein. The breadcrumb trail suggests she was not acting alone.
Sources indicate Gilbert was the primary holder of a dormant, non-human intelligence dossier buried in the Library of Congress's secure annex. The dossier, codenamed **'INGALLS-7'**, allegedly contains the real, uncut transcript of a meeting between the cast of *The Waltons* and a foreign non-state actor in 1977. The film crew on set that day? They were not crew.
Her sudden appearance at the Venice Film Festival was a signal. But who was she signalling?
**// STATUS: COMPROMISED. ASSET IS NOW UNSTABLE. MOVE IMMEDIATELY.**