**BREAKING: CNN FORCED TO RUN 24/7 "TRUMP ISN'T A GENIE" PSA AFTER VIEWER CONFUSION**
ATLANTA ā In a bizarre turn of events, CNN has announced it will air a scrolling chyron reading "DONALD TRUMP DOES NOT GRANT WISHES" after a surge of viewer calls requesting he "magically fix the economy, world peace, and their Wi-Fi speeds."
The network confirmed the confusion began Monday when a segment titled "Trump's Latest Economic Proposal" aired. Thousands of viewers apparently misheard "tariff plan" as "genie lamp." Calls lit up the switchboard: "Did he say the first wish is free? Is there a return policy?"
CNN anchor Jake Tapper, visibly exhausted, explained, "We are not a lamp-lighting service. We are news. Please stop rubbing your remote controls."
The confusion peaked when one viewer reportedly tried to "summon" Trump by reciting "The Apprentice" theme song backward into a toaster.
"Look, Iām not saying he hasn't made wild promises," said historian Dr. Karen Meme, "but asking Trump for 'infinite oil, no inflation, and a Diet Coke that never goes flat' is not how this works. That's now how any of this works."
As of press time, the White House had no comment, but a spokesperson for Trump's social media platform released a statement: "Only I can grant wishes. And the wish is winning. Sad!"
CNN has since added a new category to its chyron templates: "Trump: Not a Witch. Not a Wizard. Just a Lot of Tweets."