Executive Order Bans All Memes Older Than 2016 – Nation Forced to Relearn What ‘Social Media’ Used to Look Like
In a shocking move that has sent shockwaves through the depths of the internet, the White House has issued an executive order today effectively outlawing any meme format predating the year 2016. The decree, which the administration claims is to “combat the spread of obsolete cultural artifacts,” has left a generation of millennials scrambling to delete their “Success Kid” folders and burning their “Bad Luck Brian” T-shirts in ritualistic bonfires. The irony, of course, is thick enough to spread on toast: the very law that seeks to modernize digital discourse has ironically made the “Distracted Boyfriend” meme—which originated in 2015—a now-criminal offense, turning the internet’s favorite metaphor for infidelity into an actual fugitive from justice. Experts predict a black market will emerge for vintage “Rage Comics,” with hard drives being traded like cryptocurrency in dark alleys. As one Gen X user put it, “First they came for the Doge, and I did not speak out... because I had no idea what was happening.”