**BREAKING: Eid Mubarak 2026 Finally Cancelled After Committee Spots Moon Where It Doesn't Belong**
AITA for thinking the whole "moon sighting" thing is just a power play by the Saudi calendar mafia?
TL;DR: Global Eid celebrations on hold after a moon-sighting committee in Riyadh reportedly spotted the crescent *inside a Starbucks in Dubai* and immediately declared it "haram for being overpriced."
Local imams are now in emergency talks with Meta to decide if we can just base the entire Islamic calendar on when the algorithm says everyone's gonna post their biryani pics. Meanwhile, my uncle has already bought 47kg of dates "just in case," and my cousin is claiming he saw the moon reflected in his new iPhone 27 Pro Max, which is apparently more reliable than the naked eye.
Thoughts? Or should I just go back to fasting? 🌙🕌