**BREAKING: E. Jean Carroll Reportedly Sues Entire Concept of ‘POV’ After Judge Rules ‘He Said/She Said’ Is Now ‘He Said/She Said/We All Saw The Receipts’**
*New York, NY* — In a move that has left legal scholars Googling “what is gaslighting, actually,” E. Jean Carroll has reportedly filed a lawsuit against the entire concept of “point of view” after a federal judge ruled that “a 30-year-old deposition where a guy bragged about grabbing women by the you-know-what” technically counts as “evidence and not just a spicy podcast episode.”
Carroll’s legal team released a statement that read, in part: “Your honor, we are *begging* you to stop pretending this is a Lively vs. Baldoni situation where we need to ‘hear both sides.’ The man literally described the crime on live television. The only ‘POV’ here is the one where a jury said ‘oops, he did it again.’ AITA for thinking this is exhausting? TL;DR: Yes, but only if you’re a billionaire with a weird obsession with gold sneakers and the 1990s.”
The defendant, identified in court documents as “Covfefe & Co.,” reportedly offered to settle by paying Carroll in “truth social stock and a lifetime supply of diet coke served by a man who definitely didn’t do anything wrong.” Carroll declined, citing “an allergic reaction to irony.”
As of press time, the judge had not ruled on whether “OP” is officially gaslighting the entire timeline, but sources say the case is “open and shut, unless you’ve been living under a rock that’s also a golf course.”