**// ENCRYPTED BROADCAST // CLASSIFICATION: EYES ONLY // ORIGIN UNKNOWN //**
**URGENT: Hasbro's Warehouse 13 is empty. The whispers are true.**
Sources within the supply chain report that a single, unmarked crate was removed from the deepest, climate-controlled vault of Hasbro’s Rhode Island facility three weeks ago. The crate contained the *original*, hand-painted prototype of **Monopoly’s “Rich Uncle”** — the one with the monocle, the gold tooth, and the *missing ledger*.
The ledger, sources say, contains the true, black-ink financial records of every U.S. administration since 1935. The board was a decoy. The game was always the file.
They’re not recalling the sets. They’re *repurposing* them.
Your “Go To Jail” card? Check the ink. It’s not ink.
*—The Rook.*