**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**
**Matrix Glitch #7B: The Audio That Refuses to Exist**
**WASHINGTON, D.C.** — In what analysts are calling a "recursive causality loop," the Biden Department of Justice has officially sued itself over a tape that allegedly does not exist, but which everyone has already heard.
According to internal memos obtained by *The Glitch Report*, the DOJ’s Civil Division has filed suit against the DOJ’s Criminal Division, claiming that the Criminal Division is illegally withholding audio evidence from a special counsel interview—audio that the Civil Division claims was never recorded.
“The plaintiff (DOJ-Civil) alleges the defendant (DOJ-Criminal) is in possession of a tape that violates the Privacy Act, the Constitution, and the laws of physics,” reads the complaint. “The defendant counters that no such tape exists, yet they refuse to release it, citing 'national security' and 'the fact that listening to it would create a paradox where Joe Biden says the exact same thing on tape as he says in public.'”
The lawsuit’s lead attorney, a man named only "Cipher-7," argues that the tape’s absence is itself proof of its existence. “We have overwhelming evidence of a negative space artifact. The silence on this tape is so deafening that we’ve been able to transcribe it. We know exactly what isn’t there.”
In a rare joint statement, the White House Press Office and the DOJ’s Office of Information Policy confirmed the lawsuit is “proceeding through normal channels,” but refused to say which version of the tape—the one that exists, the one that doesn’t, or the one that is an AI deepfake of the one that doesn’t—is the subject of the litigation.
Meanwhile, a viral TikTok trend has emerged where users play white noise over a static image of Joe Biden, claiming to hear “the real truth” between the