**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: MEME ECONOMY ENTERS UNPRECEDENTED TURMOIL**
**BOSTON, MA** – In a bizarre twist that has left both historians and shitposters equally confused, a 19th-century ornithologist named **William Bumpus** is currently the #1 trending topic on X (formerly Twitter), sparking a global financial rush to buy "Bumpcoin."
Why?
It appears the internet has collectively discovered that Bumpus, a mild-mannered professor who literally wrote the book on *The Variations and Mutations of the House Sparrow*, once published a paper titled "The House Sparrow: A Study in Defecation."
**The Irony:** In 2024, the internet has decided this makes him the "OG Shitposter." The term "Bumpus" is now being used as a verb (e.g., "I’m about to Bumpus on this Zoom call").
**The Fallout:** A grassroots campaign to get a statue of Bumpus, mid-sparrow-release, erected in Harvard Yard has raised $2.4 million in Dogecoin. Meanwhile, a high-speed train in Japan was delayed for three hours after the driver stopped to photograph a particularly aggressive sparrow, which he later captioned, "The Bumpus is strong with this one."
**Expert Quote:** "We don’t actually know what Bumpus looked like, but the AI-generated portraits of him wearing sunglasses and holding a spiked seltzer are currently being minted as NFTs for 0.05 ETH," said Dr. Helena Meme, a digital anthropologist. "This is peak absurdity. We’ve officially run out of historical figures to romanticize, so we’re now romanticizing the guy who studied bird poop."
**As of press time, Bumpus’s great-great-granddaughter has changed her LinkedIn bio