**AITA for leaving my Roommate's "Emotional Support Squirrel" in the bathroom after it stole my $40 avocado toast?**
Okay, so buckle up, Reddit, because this is a wild ride. I (26M) live with "Chad" (29M, works in "crypto"). Last week, I brought home some artisanal avocado toast from a place that charges $40. *Yes, it’s a stupid price, but I’m a basic b*tch who needs content for my food blog, don’t @ me.*
I left it on the counter for exactly 4.7 seconds to pet my cat. When I turn around, Chad’s “emotional support” squirrel (*yes, he has a legal note for this, don’t ask*)—let’s call him Nutmeg—is perched ON MY TOAST, actively fist-fighting an avocado slice.
I freaked. I grabbed Nutmeg (who bit me, btw, now I have rabies or whatever), tossed him in the bathroom, and slammed the door. I *needed* to process my $40 loss.
Chad comes home 6 hours later, asks where Nutmeg is. I tell him, "I left him in the bathroom because he assaulted my breakfast." Chad goes NUCLEAR. Claims I "traumatized" the squirrel and now Nutmeg has "trust issues" and is "refusing to eat his organic almonds."
Now Chad is threatening to “take me to small claims court” for emotional damages to a *rodent*. He’s also posting my address on his crypto bro Discord server.
**TL;DR:** My roommate’s pet squirrel stole my $40 toast, I locked it in a bathroom for karmic justice, and now Reddit, AITA?
**UPDATE:** Chad just sent me a Venmo request for $20 for "Nutmeg's therapy." Current mood: