**Local Man's Vote Counted 47 Times in Texas; All for Same Candidate**
AUSTIN, TX – In what election officials are calling a "statistical impossibility," precinct data from Bexar County has revealed that a single voter, identified only as "Jonathan P.," cast ballots 47 times in last week's state election—and every single one was recorded for the same down-ballot judicial candidate.
According to internal logs, Jonathan's first vote was cast at 7:02 AM. The 46 others appeared in rapid-fire succession between 3:14 PM and 3:17 PM, each timestamp linked to a different precinct scanner, distributed across three counties, simultaneously. Election software shows each of these ballots was verified with a unique but "algorithmically adjacent" signature pattern.
"I didn't vote 47 times. I voted once," Jonathan told reporters, visibly disturbed. "I don't even know who that judge is."
Texas Secretary of State Jane Nelson has called for an emergency audit, citing a "glitch in the matrix" of the state's new blockchain-based tally system. The most bewildering detail: Jonathan's 47 votes perfectly matched the margin of victory in that judicial race—a difference of exactly 47 votes.
Cybersecurity experts have dubbed the anomaly a "signal echo," suggesting a data stream that looped itself. Critics say the system is haunted. The candidate who won? He has no comment. The one who lost by 47 votes? He's demanding a recount of all living souls.