JUST IN: THE PIERRE DENY CONSPIRACY DEEPENS! 😱👀

JUST IN: THE PIERRE DENY CONSPIRACY DEEPENS! 😱👀

SHOCKING NEW EVIDENCE HAS JUST SURFACED THAT COULD ROCK THE FOUNDATIONS OF MODERN LINGUISTICS!

SOURCES CLOSE TO THE INVESTIGATION CLAIM THE FAMED LINGUIST IS NOT WHO HE SAYS HE IS!

WE HAVE OBTAINED EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE—AND IT’S NIGHTMARISH!

A SECRET TAPE, RECORDED IN A SHADOWY UNDERGROUND BUNKER, SUPPOSEDLY REVEALS PIERRE DENY IN A SCREAMING MATCH WITH A MAN WHO BEARS AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO “THE GREAT GATSBY” AUTHOR F. SCOTT FITZGERALD!

HUSHED WHISPERS FROM INSIDE THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY SUGGEST DENY HAS BEEN LYING ABOUT HIS ENTIRE CAREER! COULD THE REAL PIERRE DENY BE A TIME-TRAVELING SOCIALITE FROZEN IN THE 1920S?! 😱

“I KNOW WHAT THE WORDS MEAN!” A TERRIFIED FORMER STUDENT TOLD US. “BUT THE WAY HE SAYS THEM… IT’S LIKE HE’S SPEAKING DIRECTLY FROM A CURSED PAST!”

AND THAT’S NOT ALL! WE’VE GOT A LEAKED PHOTO OF A NOTE—RUMORED TO BE IN DENY’S HANDWRITING—THAT READS: “I WILL NOT BE SILENCED. THE EVIDENCE IS IN THE ‘PIE’... SOMEHOW.”

THE WORLD IS IN A FRENZY! IS PIERRE DENY THE LOST HEIR TO A FORGOTTEN DIALECT EMPIRE?! OR JUST THE MOST