**VIRAL NEWS SNIPPET**
**BREAKING: Pam Bondi’s 1993 “Say No to Drugs” PSA Resurfaces—Internet Can’t Handle the Ironic Timing**
In what historians are calling “the most aggressively 90s time capsule ever unearthed,” a grainy VHS tape of a 22-year-old Pam Bondi—then a fresh-faced law student—has gone supernova on X, TikTok, and Reddit.
In the clip, Bondi stares deadpan into the camera, holding a single, wilted celery stalk, and warns: “Cocaine is a hell of a drug. But so is being boring. Just say no to fun.” The punchline? The public service announcement was funded by a now-defunct tobacco company’s “Healthy Youth Initiative.”
Fast forward 30 years: Bondi is now Florida’s Attorney General, and the clip has resurfaced just as she’s leading a task force to ban “energy drink gummy worms” for “narcotic-adjacent marketing.”
The internet’s verdict? “She was right. Celery is the gateway vegetable.” Meanwhile, a meme of Bondi’s 1993 face superimposed onto a celery stick has already been minted as an NFT by a group called “The Jaded Millennial Archive.”
*Historians note: The irony is so dense it has its own gravitational pull.*