**BREAKING: EXCLUSIVE – MEXICAN RESTAURANT CHAIN DUMP’S THE U.S. IN BIZARRE ‘SOUR CREAM & RUN’ SCENE!**
**HOLLYWOOD, CA** – The red carpet is officially rolled up. In a move that has Hollywood A-listers and foodies clutching their margaritas, beloved Mexican restaurant chain **"EL FUEGO LOCO"** has just **TORCHED its entire U.S. footprint** – vanishing from 47 states overnight!
We caught up with a *visibly shaken* Sofia Vergara outside the now-shuttered Beverly Hills location. The *Modern Family* star, holding a half-empty bowl of guacamole, looked stunned.
"I asked for extra cilantro, not an EXIT STRATEGY!" she sobbed to our camera. "This is worse than divorce! Where am I supposed to get my late-night queso now? Taco Bell?!"
**THE DRAMA:** Sources say the chain cited "rising avocado costs" and "cultural misappropriation fatigue." But snitches inside the kitchen tell a different story. One line cook, who saw the final shipment arrive, whispered: "The last truck wasn’t tomatoes. It was a **PARTY BUS**. The entire corporate team just... drove south. They left us a note in salsa. It just said: *'Adiós, gringos. We’re going home.'* "
**THE SHOCKER:** Fans are FURIOUS. Rival chef Gordon Ramsay was spotted outside the empty building, screaming at a sombrero. "THEY STOLE MY FINAL CHANCE TO CRITIQUE A BURRITO!" he yelled. "THIS IS ABSURD. THEY’RE NOT A CHAIN, THEY’RE A CULT!"
As the dust settles, one question remains: Did they flee the U.S. because