**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**
**MAJOR MEXICAN CHAIN ABANDONS U.S. EXPANSION AFTER "GLITCH IN THE MATRIX" REVEALS ALL NEW LOCATIONS ARE BUILT ON ANCIENT AZTEC LEYLINES**
**STATELINE, NV —** In a bizarre turn of events that has sent shivers through the fast-casual dining industry, beloved Mexican chain *Fuego del Sol* has abruptly halted its aggressive U.S. expansion, citing a "statistical and metaphysical impossibility."
The chain had planned 47 new locations across the Southwest. However, an internal analyst—who insists on being called "Neo"—discovered a pattern that defies probability: every single proposed building site was located directly on a mapped Aztec ceremonial ley line.
"We didn't notice it until we overlaid the architectural blueprints with a 15th-century Codex," Neo told reporters, adjusting his sunglasses. "The coincidence rate? 100%. The odds of that happening randomly are roughly one in 4.7 trillion. The Matrix is glitching."
But the weirdness didn't stop there. Upon cross-referencing property records, Neo found that each plot of land had previously been the site of a failed American business that shared a name with a Conquistador. "A Blockbuster in Albuquerque sat on the same spot as a Hernán Cortés-themed laundromat that burned down in 1987," Neo explained. "It’s like the simulation is running a nested joke."
CEO Elena Castillo confirmed the shutdown, stating, "We cannot, in good conscience, serve tacos on a plot of land that is literally screaming for an obsidian sacrifice. Our burritos are good, but they are not *that* good."
The company has pivoted to a new strategy: virtual pop-ups in U.S. cities, accessed only via QR codes hidden in the "glitch art" of