**BREAKING: "Biden Learns How To Read" – The $1.2 Trillion Literacy Initiative That Has Taxpayers Demanding Answers**
**Washington D.C.** – In a move that has the MSM tongue-tied and the internet in hysterics, the White House has quietly launched a new federal program titled *"Operation: Letter by Letter."* The initiative, which allocates **$1.2 trillion** in emergency funds, is reportedly designed to teach "high-level decoding skills" to key government personnel—starting with President Joe Biden himself.
Sources confirm that a "literacy task force" comprised of specially trained Sesame Street characters and retired kindergarten teachers has been installed in the West Wing. Their mission? To help the Commander-in-Chief "differentiate between an editorial and a memo" and "recognize the letters D, O, G, E, and, critically, the number 10."
Critics are crying foul, pointing out that the program’s true beneficiaries are the defense contractors supplying the "tactical alphabet flashcards" and the hedge fund managers shorting the dollar. "This isn't about education," one senior GOP staffer leaked. "This is a sophisticated scheme to confuse the electorate into thinking leaders can actually read their own briefing notes."
Meanwhile, in a leaked audio recording, First Lady Jill Biden can be heard explaining to aides: "The President is learning very fast. Yesterday, he identified the word 'the' in a TelePrompTer."
The Pentagon has refused to comment on reports that the program is also being tested on AI chatbots to "ensure they never out-read their human creators."
**Has Democracy finally learned its lesson? Or is this just page one of a much longer book?**