**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**
**CHAPEL HILL, NC** — In an unprecedented move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and in stitches, University of North Carolina Chancellor Kevin Guskiewicz has been declared the new "Mascot Emeritus" after footage surfaced of him attempting to high-five a ghost during a campus tour.
The video, which has since amassed 4.7 million views on TikTok, shows Guskiewicz enthusiastically reaching out to greet an empty space where a tour guide had just been standing, before triumphantly exclaiming, "Excellent grip strength, young Ram!"
The irony? Guskiewicz, a world-renowned concussion researcher who literally wrote the book on head trauma, spent the next 30 seconds frantically looking for the invisible student, quipping, "I have to assess for subdural hematoma — you can never be too careful at a public university."
The real viral punchline, however, comes from the comment section. "Bro is so good at studying brain injuries that he started hallucinating students," wrote user @RamsDeep69. Another added, "This man spent years proving concussions are serious, and now he's concussing himself with social anxiety."
In a follow-up press conference, Guskiewicz doubled down, claiming the ghost high-five was a "metaphor for the invisible labor of higher education administration." The internet officially declared him "The Scarecrow of Chapel Hill" — a man so brilliant at preventing head injuries that he forgot where his own head was.
**#KevinCanSeeGhosts #ConcussionIrony #GhostHighFive**