**BANGKOK (AP) — "Mr. Fix-It" Gets Life for Literal "Rush" Job**
In a tragic twist that has turned the internet’s dark humor dial to 11, Kenneth Iwamasa—a personal assistant who once touted himself as the "ultimate problem solver for the ultra-rich"—has officially made history as the first person to plead guilty to injecting someone to death with a substance they themselves bought.
Iwamasa, who worked as Matthew Perry’s live-in assistant, admitted to administering the fatal dose of ketamine to the "Friends" star last October. But the irony? The internet is now calling him the "Uber Eats of Angel Makers."
"Kenneth literally drove to the pharmacy, bought the horse tranquilizer, brewed it up in a shot glass, and then delivered it directly to the client—no tip required," said Dr. Marnie Becker, a meme historian at UCLA. "It’s the most efficient, yet utterly disastrous, 'concierge service' I’ve ever seen."
While the case is a stark tragedy for Perry's fans, the internet has latched onto the absurdity of Iwamasa’s job description. Old LinkedIn screenshots show his profile header: *"I take the stress out of your life. You relax—I handle everything."* The final line of his bio now reads ominously: *"Including the hard stuff."
Prosecutors say Iwamasa didn't act out of malice—just pure, catastrophic incompetence. "He thought he was helping his boss chill out, like he was grabbing him a flat white," one source chuckled darkly.
The hashtag #TooGoodAtYourJob is trending on X, with users posting photos of their own overzealous assistants. "When you ask your PA for a blanket and they give you the eternal nap," wrote user @SarcasticSally.
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