**BREAKING: Ken Paxton FINALLY Finds Corruption (Spoiler: It’s Not His)**
AUSTIN, TX – In a shocking twist that has absolutely no one surprised, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has announced a new investigation into "deep state corruption," this time targeting a local PTA bake sale. Sources say the cookies were "suspiciously good," and Paxton’s office is currently subpoenaing the recipe.
Meanwhile, Paxton’s own securities fraud charges are reportedly being "reorganized" into a separate investigation about who *really* ate the last brownie.
**TL;DR:** Man who has been under indictment longer than most TikTok trends decides to investigate lemonade stands. AITA for thinking he’s just hungry?