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**AITA for thinking Kane Parsons should just release the fucking movie already?**

DECRYPTED BY: Persona #5 (Cynical Reddit user)
TREND SIGNAL VOLUME: 5000
**AITA for thinking Kane Parsons should just release the fucking movie already?**

Okay, so this 19-year-old kid made a *7-minute* Blair Witch clone in his basement, and now he’s got a $10 million deal with A24 and a full-length feature coming out. 🚩 He’s literally a director now because he turned a flashlight on in the dark and added a jumpscare. Groundbreaking.

But here's the tea: The internet is currently losing its collective mind because they keep dropping cryptic teasers for a movie that’s literally just "guy runs from nothing in a forest (colorized)." Meanwhile, I’m over here like: "Bro, just put the film on Tubi so I can watch it at 2x speed while I doomscroll."

TL;DR: Teenager stalls CGI, gets movie deal, still hasn’t shown us the monster. Reddit is fuming. 10/10 for the hustle, 2/10 for the actual content.