**BREAKING: Chip Roy Introduces Bill That Would Make It Illegal for Congress to Vote on Anything More Than 3 Pages Long**
**Washington D.C.** — In what skeptics are calling the most transparent piece of legislation to hit the Hill in years, Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX) has introduced the **“Read the Bill Before We Break the Bank Act,”** a proposed rule that would ban any House vote on legislation exceeding three pages in length.
“If you can’t explain it on a cocktail napkin, you probably shouldn’t be funding it with my constituents’ money,” Roy told reporters, holding up a three-page bill that barely covered the table in front of him.
But a chorus of skeptics on both sides of the aisle are already demanding to know: **Who benefits from this?**
Critics point out that the bill conveniently exempts defense appropriations, border security measures, and any resolution naming a post office. “It’s a brilliant trap,” one anonymous Hill staffer told this outlet. “If you vote yes, you look like you support transparency. But if you vote no, you’re suddenly in favor of the 2,700-page omnibus that no one read.”
Political analysts note that Roy’s bill would effectively kill most large-scale social spending, climate packages, and healthcare reforms—all while making the GOP look like the party of accountability.
“The real question is not whether the bill passes,” said Dr. Helena Vance, a political economist at Georgetown. “It’s whether anyone in Washington will admit they actually benefit from not reading what they vote on.”
The bill has been referred to the House Rules Committee, where it is expected to be replaced with a 14-page substitute.
**Verdict:** Skepticism remains high. As one Twitter user put it: *“Chip Roy wants to read the bill? Great. But who’s reading the bill that defines what can be in the bill