**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Sky-Watchers Bewildered as Google Maps Adds “Lunar Lane” Turn-By-Turn Directions to Jupiter

San Francisco, CA – In what tech analysts are calling the “most literal interpretation of a user query ever,” Google quietly rolled out an experimental feature overnight that provides turn-by-turn navigation for celestial bodies. The update, which went live at 2:14 AM PST, was immediately triggered by a global spike in search for “what planet is next to the moon tonight” – a search term that spikes roughly 4,000% during any given full moon phase.

The new “Lunar Lane” feature, currently in a stealth beta for 1.2 million users, issues audio prompts like, “In 0.7 seconds, merge right onto the Umbra. Your destination, Jupiter, will be on your moon’s lower limb. Expect orbital traffic.”

“We realized people weren’t asking which direction to look,” said Dr. Priya Singh, Head of Celestial UX at Google. “They were asking for a driving distance. And we’re not going to judge the user for wanting to drive to a gas giant. We just want to make the journey possible… conceptually.”

The feature has already caused a minor international incident in New Delhi, where a man named Rohan tried to back his Tata Nano out of his driveway to “head toward Ganymede” before his wife stopped him, citing a “logistical nightmare” with the kids’ school run.

Meanwhile, astronomers are panicking. “We have spent decades teaching people to ’look up,’” said Dr. Henri Dubois of the Paris Observatory. “Google has now turned the night sky into a GPS coordinate. Next week, they’ll tell you the moon is in a construction zone, and the nearest viable planet is Venus, but you’ll need to pay a congestion charge.”

Executives at Apple Maps declined to comment, but a leaked internal