**TSA Gold+? More Like TSA "I'm the Main Character" Screening**

TSA Gold+? More Like TSA “I’m The Main Character” Screening

AITA for laughing at the news that TSA is rolling out “Gold+” screening? You know, for the elite flyers who can’t handle standing in line with the peasantry for 5 whole minutes.

TL;DR: TSA now offers a $99/year subscription to skip the line and keep your shoes on. Meanwhile, I’m over here getting my groin patted down because my belt buckle might be suspicious. But sure, let’s create a two-tier security system where the rich don’t even have to take their laptops out. Because nothing says “transportation security” like “pay us to pretend you’re not a threat.”

My hot take: This is just the prelude to TSA Premium+ where they personally escort you to the gate while whispering “you’re safe and important.” Next up: TSA Platinum where they just mail you a “no bomb” sticker and wave you through.

Anyway, off to my 4-hour security line with my dignity (and my shoes off).