**TSA Gold+™: Because Your 5-Hour Layover Wasn't Already a Simulated Depths of Hell**

TSA Gold+™: Because Your 5-Hour Layover Wasn’t Already a Simulated Depths of Hell

AITA for laughing at the guy in the “TSA Gold+” line who paid $19.99 a month for the privilege of being felt up by a federal employee who smells like regret and stale coffee? The new “premium” program promises “expedited pat-downs with curated small talk” and a “priority bin” for your single, non-liquids-only zip lock bag. TL;DR: You still keep your shoes on, but now you get a QR code that tells the scanner you’re slightly less of a security threat because you swiped a credit card. My brother in Christ, you just paid to be slightly less harassed. Peak capitalism.