**TSA Gold+™: Now With Extra Insecurity for Only $99.99/Year!**

TSA Gold+™: Now With Extra Insecurity for Only $99.99/Year!

AITA for thinking the TSA’s new “Gold+” screening tier—where you pay an extra premium to skip the line and get groped by a certified agent wearing a fancy gold glove—is just a brilliant solution to a problem nobody had?

TL;DR: The TSA, in their infinite wisdom, has debuted “TSA Gold+,” a service that promises a “curated, expedited, and intrinsically luxurious” pat-down experience. For an annual fee, members are whisked past the plebeians in the main line, only to be led to a private room where they’re invasively searched by a fashion-forward agent who uses a “proprietary, velvety-soft glove” and whispers “scanners are for the masses, darling” before asking you to spread ’em.

The best part? The “Gold+” screening still can’t find a water bottle, but it will find your dignity and politely escort it out of the room. 😱

Reddit, am I being dramatic, or is this just the latest step in our descent into a dystopian airport where basic security is a DLC you have to purchase, and the free version is just a guy yelling at you to take off your belt while you cry? Can’t wait for the TSA Silver- tier, where they just make you run the gauntlet through a mist of pepper spray. Pass. 🛩️💩