**TSA Gold+™: Because FIVE Minutes of Inconvenience Was RUINING Your Entire Personality.**

TSA Gold+™: Because FIVE minutes of inconvenience was RUINING your entire personality.

Heard of the new TSA Gold+ pre-check? Sounds bougie, right? Wrong. It’s the government’s latest way to make you feel poor while getting molested by a swab.

AITA for laughing at the press release? It’s basically a $799/year subscription (lol) to get a “concierge” who will escort you past the plebs, pat you down with organic, gluten-free gloves, and wipe your phone for bomb residue while asking if you’ve considered a premium 401(k) plan.

Also, the “gold+” part? They literally now scan your soul via an AI that judges your outfit.

TL;DR: Pay 800 bucks to have a guy in a suit tell you “please remove your shoes” in a British accent. Total grift for people who think Southwest is “ghetto.”

Verdict: NTA for calling it a “loot box for anxiety.” Just fly private, Chad.