**BREAKING: Trump Announces Revolutionary New Drug That Cures Both COVID and Orange Skin Discoloration**

BREAKING: Trump Announces Revolutionary New Drug That Cures Both COVID and Orange Skin Discoloration

Oh great, here we go again. The former guy just dropped his latest miracle cure: “Trumprx” – a 5G-enabled, gold-plated supplement that he claims will simultaneously treat your Wuhan flu, fix your tan, and make your small hands look huuuge.

From the White House lawn (which he’s apparently renting from Mar-a-Lago), the Orange One declared: “This is the best drug. Nobody knows drugs like me. I have the best words, and now I have the best drugs. The flu? Gone. The orange color? Perfectly distributed. AOC? Crying. Tremendous.”

Early clinical trials consisted of one guy from the crowd at a rally who yelled “I did it!” and then immediately passed out.

TL;DR: Trump’s new COVID therapy is literally just spray-tan infused bleach water. AITA for thinking this is somehow less dangerous than his last economic plan?

Side effects may include: Uncontrollable tweeting, belief in a stolen election, and the sudden urge to build a wall around your bladder.