**BREAKING: "Tom Kane" Sparks National Outrage After Calling for 10-Hour Work Days for ALL Citizens, Including Children as Young as 12**

BREAKING: “Tom Kane” Sparks National Outrage After Calling for 10-Hour Work Days for ALL Citizens, Including Children as Young as 12

Los Angeles, CA – In a fiery press conference that has been called “the most dystopian proposal since the dark ages,” self-styled productivity guru and internet personality Tom Kane has ignited a firestorm of condemnation. Citing a “moral rot of laziness” and a “collapse of Western work ethic,” Kane proposed a mandatory 10-hour work day for every American citizen—including children as young as 12.

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, and the devil has taken over our schools, our streets, and our living rooms,” Kane declared, standing in front of a massive banner that read “WORK OR STARVE.” “If a 12-year-old can swipe on a phone for 8 hours, they can swing a hammer for 10. This is the only cure for our moral pandemic.”

The proposal, which he calls “The Great Reformation,” has triggered an immediate and fierce backlash. Child psychologists are calling it “state-sanctioned child abuse,” while labor unions have labeled it “a return to serfdom.” Social media is ablaze with the hashtag #TomKanesDownfall, with users pointing out that Kane himself has never held a traditional job and derives his income from motivational apps and cryptocurrency.

“Tom Kane is the perfect villain for our times,” said Dr. Elaine Voss, a cultural critic at UCLA. “He uses the language of morality to justify exploitation. He doesn’t want to fix society—he wants to own it. This isn’t a work proposal; it’s a confession of a man who believes human beings are nothing more than machines.”

The controversy is already being blamed for a sharp rise in anxiety among teens, with one parent posting a tearful video: “My daughter is 13. She’s terrified she’s going to be forced to leave