**MAN FREAKS OUT OVER COFFEE CUP, HAS NUCLEAR MELTDOWN in PUBLIC — YOU WON'T BELIEVE the PRICE**

MAN FREAKS OUT OVER COFFEE CUP, HAS NUCLEAR MELTDOWN IN PUBLIC — YOU WON’T BELIEVE THE PRICE

So apparently Tom Kane, local real estate bro and self-proclaimed “coffee connoisseur,” walked into his neighborhood Starbucks today and demanded his usual “extra-dry, upside-down, no-foam, light-ice, quad-shot, half-caff, unicorn-tear latte with a side of my manager.”

AITA for thinking this guy is the human embodiment of a hemorrhoid? Barista just asked if he wanted the standard $8.27 upcharge for oat milk. Tom proceeds to perform a 15-minute Shakespearean tragedy about “the milkflation crisis” and how “this is literally 1984.” Sir, it’s oat milk. It’s not Big Brother, it’s a plant.

Police were called when Tom attempted to “negotiate” his total down by offering a signed headshot of himself from his 2012 community theater production of Les Misérables.

TL;DR: Man trades dignity and a public meltdown for a $9.50 cup of burned bean juice, still didn’t get his damn unicorn tears. 🚨💀