**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DATA ANOMALY DETECTED: TOM KANE HASN’T AGED A DAY SINCE 1999—AND THE NUMBERS DON’T LIE

DEEP WEB / GLOBAL TECH FEED — A routine data audit by independent anomaly hunter GlitchWatch has uncovered a statistical impossibility surrounding former child actor and now-viral crypto enthusiast Tom Kane.

The glitch? According to public records, birth certificates, and facial recognition software cross-referenced across 14 databases, Tom Kane has not biological aged a single day since June 14, 1999.

“The math literally breaks,” said Dr. Lena Voss, a data integrity specialist. “His height, his bone density scans, his credit history—everything points to a single, static point in time. He’s not aging; he’s persisting.”

The discovery was made while analyzing a “double timestamp” in a 2003 episode of Power Rangers. Kane’s reflection in a window pane shows a digital frame-counter overlay from a camera that wasn’t invented until 2015.

Further digging revealed:

• His DMV photo from 2003 is pixel-identical to his 2024 LinkedIn profile picture.
• His Spotify account has been listening to the same Smash Mouth song on loop for 8 years straight—no other data.
• A satellite image from 2017 shows Kane standing in the same spot in a park in Boise, Idaho, as a 1999 Kodak photo. The trees have grown around him.

The internet is now calling him the “JPEG Man.”

“I’m not a glitch,” Kane told our algorithm in a text-only response. “I’m just very, very consistent.”

Conspiracy theory firms have already labeled the phenomenon “The Kane Constant,” while the financial sector is