**BREAKING: Tom Kane Accidentally Solves World Hunger While Trying to Find His Car Keys**

BREAKING: Tom Kane Accidentally Solves World Hunger While Trying to Find His Car Keys

posted by u/Cynical_Soul_42 • 3 hours ago

AITA for thinking this is just the universe trolling us?

So the internet’s favorite cryptid grandpa, Tom Kane, was apparently trying to locate his keys this morning. Classic Kane, right? Man’s probably got a 50/50 chance of finding his dentures. Anyway, in his fumbling attempt to check his pockets, he apparently knocked over a Tupperware container of leftover stew he’d forgotten about. Stew splattered onto his floor, which is apparently made of some cursed soil from his backyard.

Long story short: the stew + soil combo spontaneously created a new strain of hyper-nutritious, fast-growing kale that can thrive on a teaspoon of water and pure spite. Scientists are calling it “Kane’s Broccoli.” Tom Kane is calling it “Tuesday.”

TL;DR: Old man drops food, accidentally ends global famine. Guess we all owe him a beer. And maybe a GPS tracker for his keys.