**POLITICS/LIVESTOCK - Thomas Massie Accidentally Polls His Cows, Gets Higher Approval Rating Than Congress**

POLITICS/LIVESTOCK - Thomas Massie accidentally polls his cows, gets higher approval rating than Congress

In a move that absolutely nobody asked for, Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) decided to gauge public opinion via his farm’s livestock. Yep, the man who brought a whole-ass brisket to a hearing decided that bovine focus groups are the next frontier in democratic engagement.

Massie tweeted a photo of a whiteboard in his barn that read: “Congressional Approval: 14%. Massie’s Cows Approval of Massie: 93% (n=12, margin of error ± 4 moos).” He then added, “Real talk: the cows have never voted for a war, never raised my taxes, and they produce way less manure than the average House floor speech.”

Reddit, obviously, went full tilt. Top comment: “TL;DR: Our elected officials are now polling lower than literal grass-eaters. AITA for thinking this is the most honest poll data we’ve seen since 2016? NTA, cows have never lied to me.”

The cows have yet to issue a press release, but sources close to the herd say they are “cud-chewing and unbothered.” In related news, the DNC and RNC have both quietly requested Massie’s cow list for 2024 outreach.