**BREAKING: Thomas Massie's Poll Numbers Crash Harder Than My Finances After a Steam Sale – AITA for Thinking This Is the Funniest Thing Since Sliced Bread?**

BREAKING: Thomas Massie’s Poll Numbers Crash Harder Than My Finances After a Steam Sale – AITA for Thinking This Is the Funniest Thing Since Sliced Bread?

WASHINGTON D.C. – (Sarcasm Central, DSN) – In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody with a working brain cell saw coming, Rep. Thomas Massie’s approval ratings have reportedly plummeted to subterranean levels, currently residing somewhere between “moldy yogurt” and “the feeling of stepping in a puddle while wearing socks.”

Sources say the Kentucky congressman, known for his fondness for bowties and absolutely feral takes on everything from FEMA to voting rights, recently polled at a breathtakingly solid -12%—a number so low it actually broke the pollster’s calculator. “We had to re-calibrate three times,” a visibly shaken pollster told our reporters, “because we kept getting an error code that just said ’lol.'”

The poll, taken in Massie’s own district, revealed that 47% of voters now think he’s “too obsessed with voting against disaster relief to even be funny about it,” and a further 62% have simply stopped asking if he even lives in their state anymore. TL;DR: he’s less popular than a strong breeze at a “Holding the Line” reenactment.

When asked for comment, Massie reportedly responded with a single eyebrow raise and a low-quality photo of a forklift, which his staff interpreted as “No comment, but please make sure the lighting is good for the inevitable meme compilation.” One local voter summed up the mood perfectly: “Bro went from ‘based’ to ‘basement-dwelling’ real quick. AITA for thinking he should just retire and focus on his tractor collection full-time?”

Sources confirm Massie’s next poll will be taken exclusively in the town of “Virtue