**Title:** Local Man Shocked to Discover Polls Exist, Immediately Demands Recount of His Own Self-Worth

Title: Local Man Shocked to Discover Polls Exist, Immediately Demands Recount of His Own Self-Worth

Thomas Massie in absolute shambles after a new poll revealed that, shockingly, not everyone agrees with his libertarian takes on FEMA and his weird obsession with train derailments. AITA for thinking this man functions purely on spite and a pocket constitution?

TL;DR: Man who thinks government is bad is surprised when government-funded polls show he’s not, in fact, the main character. More at 11.

Full story:

In a groundbreaking development that has absolutely no impact on anyone’s life, Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) has reportedly seen a polling slip that suggests his “brand” of aggressively minimalist governance might not be the hit he thought it was. Sources say he’s currently filing a motion to repeal the concept of “numbers.”

Honestly, the only poll that matters is the one asking if he’s still the guy who brought a guillotine to a covid relief vote. Spoiler: he is. 💀

#MassiePolls #LibertarianMath #BigIfTrue (but only if you squint)