**WILMINGTON, NC** — In an Extraordinary Display of Political Deja Vu, Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) Accidentally Voted for a Bill He Campaigned Against, on the Bill He Wrote, to Ban a Thing He Invented. the "Tillis Trifecta," as It's Now Being Called on C-SPAN Call-in Shows, Occurred This Morning When the Senator, Mistaking a "Yea" Button for a "Nay" Button During a Routine Procedural Vote, Single-Handedly Passed the "American Platform Accountability Act," Which, Ironically, Criminalizes the Act of Voting by Accident.

WILMINGTON, NC — In an extraordinary display of political deja vu, Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) accidentally voted for a bill he campaigned against, on the bill he wrote, to ban a thing he invented. The “Tillis Trifecta,” as it’s now being called on C-SPAN call-in shows, occurred this morning when the Senator, mistaking a “yea” button for a “nay” button during a routine procedural vote, single-handedly passed the “American Platform Accountability Act,” which, ironically, criminalizes the act of voting by accident.

Political historians are calling it the most efficient piece of self-owning legislation since the “Dewey Decoy” of 1948. “He’s not a flip-flopper,” said Dr. Helene Krauss of the Institute for Political Irony. “He’s a human Möbius strip. He campaigned against the very platform he invented, then voted for the regulation against himself. It’s like watching a snake eat its own tail while insisting it’s a tax cut.”

The bill, which Tillis originally introduced as a “nuisance to Big Tech,” now classifies his own vote as a “malicious bot activity.” As of press time, Tillis is legally required to report himself to the Republican National Committee for “unauthorized algorithmic interference.” Meme lords have already dubbed him “Thom Tillis: The Only Man Who Can Filibuster His Own Apology.”

In a press release, Tillis’s office stated: “The Senator stands by his votes, all of them, including the one he didn’t mean to make, for the bill he wrote, about the website he founded, which he now says is a threat to democracy. He feels this is the most honest position he’s ever taken.”