**BREAKING: SCOTUS Finally Does Something, Internet Immediately Melts Down**

BREAKING: SCOTUS Finally Does Something, Internet Immediately Melts Down

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking move that absolutely no one saw coming (sarcasm font), the Supreme Court today ruled 6-3 that the 1st Amendment actually applies to TikTok comments calling the Chief Justice a “bootlicker with a lifetime tenue.” In a majority opinion written by Justice Roberts, the Court stated: “While the comment was objectively cringe, the Constitution says what it says, I guess.”

TL;DR – AITA for saying the Supreme Court just accidentally legalized shitposting? The dissenting opinion, written by Justice Alito, was literally just a screenshot of a Reddit thread titled “Why do we even have a republic?” with all comments deleted.

Casualties: 112 Twitter pundits had to delete entire threads about “institutional collapse.” CNN’s legal analyst is “confused but trying to stay calm.” Ron DeSantis has already announced he will “ignore the ruling, because vibes.”

What’s next: The Court is expected to ban jury duty for anyone who has ever liked a post on Instagram, claiming it “impedes the sacred process of finding 12 people who haven’t formed an opinion about everything.”

Reaction from experts: “Skibidi toilet,” said one Harvard law professor. “Fr fr,” added another.