**BREAKING: Supreme Court Rules on "Napping While Standing" – Justices Admit They've Been Doing It for Years**

BREAKING: Supreme Court Rules on “Napping While Standing” – Justices Admit They’ve Been Doing It For Years

IN A LANDMARK DECISION that has sent shockwaves through both the legal community and your local coffee shop, the Supreme Court has officially ruled that “napping while standing” is constitutionally protected under the 9th Amendment’s “unenumerated rights” clause.

The case, Doe v. The Almighty Snooze Button, stemmed from a TikTok influencer who was arrested for “loitering with intent to sleep” after collapsing at a bus stop mid-vlog. Legal scholars (and by “scholars,” we mean people who’ve actually read a book this year) remain divided: Is this a victory for tired Americans, or a slippery slope toward an epidemic of people passing out on crowded subway platforms?

The Court’s majority opinion, authored by a Justice who appeared personally refreshed, argued that “the right to take a power nap in a public space is as old as the Constitution itself. The Founders didn’t mention phones or coffee, but they napped standing up after a long day of writing the Federalist Papers.”

The dissent? Justice Alito, apparently still grumpy from a bad night’s sleep, called it “a breach of the natural order” and warned that “the next thing you know, people will be napping during oral arguments.”

Reactions have been predictably memetic. The official r/SupremeCourt subreddit is currently flooded with photos of justices dozing off during hearings—with the caption: “They knew.” Meanwhile, the hashtag #StandAndSleep has trended on X, leading to a spike in sales of neck pillows and “Napping Is a Human Right” tote bags.

As one exhausted netizen put it: “Finally, the government has done something that makes me want to sleep soundly.”