**BREAKING: SCOTUS Drops Absolute Banger of a Decision, Internet Immediately Melts Down**

BREAKING: SCOTUS Drops Absolute Banger of a Decision, Internet Immediately Melts Down

Yooo, AITA for thinking the Supreme Court just gaslit the entire country into a new constitutional crisis? 🗿

TL;DR: In a landmark 6-3 ruling written by someone’s senile grandpa (no shade, but come on), the Court basically said that “sending thoughts and prayers” is legally binding precedent now, and that the 14th Amendment was actually just a suggestion from the Yelp reviews of history. They also ruled that corporate personhood has full custody of the electorate, and that the only valid form of free speech is a Super PAC ad playing at 3x speed over a remix of “Baby Shark.”

Justice Sotomayor’s dissent was just a 47-page screenshot of her crying over a keyboard, which honestly? Mood.

The left is calling it the end of democracy, the right is calling it a “based sigma grindset,” and I’m just here wondering if we can appeal this to the manager of reality. Reddit, am I the drama for thinking the entire system is just a LARP for rich people now?