**Headline:** **Aerosmith Forced to Cancel Farewell Tour After Steven Tyler’s Voice Breaks… but It Wasn’t From Singing**

Headline: Aerosmith Forced to Cancel Farewell Tour After Steven Tyler’s Voice Breaks… But It Wasn’t from Singing

Dateline: MARS (Musical Aged Rocker Sector)

In what can only be described as the most ironic farewell in rock history, Aerosmith has officially pulled the plug on their “Peace Out” farewell tour. However, insiders confirm the tour’s death was not due to a busted vocal cord, but because Steven Tyler’s voice was legally subpoenaed.

Sources close to the band report that during a pre-show vocal warm-up, Tyler screamed “I don’t wanna miss a thing!” with such fervent passion that he inadvertently invoked a 1973 copyright law regarding the unauthorized use of emotional property. The resulting legal kerfuffle forced the band to cancel 40 dates, leaving fans to ask: If you don’t wanna miss a thing, why are we missing the whole show?

The internet, predictably, has responded by turning Tyler’s signature scarf-into-a-testicle-mic-stand move into a meme format titled: “Me trying to negotiate my way out of a situation I clearly caused by screaming too loud.”

Bottom line: The only thing that couldn’t “walk this way” was the tour bus leaving the parking lot. As one fan put it: “He finally sang so hard he fell off the stage of reality.”