R/NotTheOnion

r/NotTheOnion

AITA for telling Steven Tyler to “get off my lawn” at a retirement home open mic?

So I (68M) am chilling at my assisted living facility’s “Senior Showcase” (aka the one day a month they let us have pudding with sprinkles). The entertainment is supposed to be Gladys from 3C playing “Moon River” on a kazoo. Instead, some guy in a feather boa and a wig that looks like a startled poodle struts up to the microphone.

He starts screeching “Dream On” but it sounds more like a cat being put through a woodchipper. He’s grabbing his crotch and doing this weird duck walk, knocking over a walker and a tray of diabetic jello.

I yell, “Steven, your voice cracked harder than my hip in ‘09! Save the screaming for when they raise the price of prune juice!”

The crowd went wild. He flipped me off and tried to kick a tambourine at me. Management says I “ruined the vibes” and “embarrassed a living legend.”

TL;DR: I told a geriatric rocker to stop screeching during my pudding time. AITA for not respecting my elders when my elders have more plastic surgery than dignity? The nurse says I’m banned from bingo for a week.