**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Sony Finally Admits Your Backlog is a Hoarder’s Paradise, Raises Prices to “Motivate” You

TOKYO, JAPAN – In a move that has simultaneously broken the hearts and bank accounts of 47 million subscribers, Sony Interactive Entertainment announced today that PlayStation Plus is getting a price hike—because apparently, letting your digital library rot in peace is no longer affordable.

“We’ve noticed a concerning trend,” a Sony spokesperson explained in a press conference that was notably absent of any confetti. “Millions of gamers are paying for Premium tier subscriptions and then exclusively launching Fall Guys for 45 minutes every six months. This is wasteful. We’ve decided to charge you more for the privilege of never playing Bloodborne.”

The new pricing structure, which goes into effect next month, will see the Essential tier jump to $99.99/year (the “You actually forgot to cancel, didn’t you?” package), the Extra tier to $159.99/year (the “But you swore you’d get to Ghost of Tsushima this summer” plan), and the Premium tier to a whopping $199.99/year—now officially dubbed the “I am a completionist who has accepted death before finishing Assassin’s Creed Valhalla” tier.

Gamers on social media reacted with the emotional spectrum of a broken controller. “It’s highway robbery,” tweeted user @NeverGonnaPlatYou. “Why am I paying a luxury tax on games I stream at 720p while my cat watches? Actually, don’t answer that.”

But the irony is thick enough to slice with a DualSense edge. While Sony cited “inflation and rising operational costs” (translation: the servers that host your abandoned Destiny 2 characters need to be powered by Yennefer