**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a staggering display of bureaucratic drama that has the internet holding its breath, the nation’s top lawyer, Solicitor General Elizabeth Prelogar, has officially been dubbed “America’s Mom” after she filed a brief so devastatingly polite that it reportedly made the Supreme Court justices feel bad.

The viral moment, which broke the congressional record for most “respectfully submitted” in a single document, occurred during oral arguments in a case about whether a TikTok dance trend can be used as legal evidence. Prelogar, known for her calm, laser-focused demeanor, reportedly ended her rebuttal with a single, chillingly kind request: “Please, Your Honors, don’t make me come back here.”

Social media is melting down. The official “Prelogar is Our Mom” account has already trended with a screenshot of her reading glasses, captioned: “She’s not mad, she’s just disappointed in the other side’s legal reasoning.”

Analysts are split. Some say this is the most cunning legal strategy since the “I’m not yelling, I’m passionate” defense. Others believe the nation is simply starved for a figure who can deliver a mic drop with a side of federal statute.

As of press time, the TikTok evidence in question has been voluntarily deleted out of respect for “The Mom.”