**HEADLINE: Solicitor General Forgets to Read the Fine Print, Accidentally Files Lawsuit Against His Own Coffee Maker**

HEADLINE: Solicitor General Forgets to Read the Fine Print, Accidentally Files Lawsuit Against His Own Coffee Maker

Washington D.C. – In a landmark case of legal irony, U.S. Solicitor General John “Justice” Brewster inadvertently sued his personal Keurig machine for “hostile brewing tactics” after a morning mishap left him with a lukewarm latte and a bruised ego. The DOJ has confirmed the lawsuit—titled Brewster v. Keurig Dr Pepper, Inc.—was filed in the D.C. Circuit Court under the Civil Rights Act, citing “discriminatory dispensing patterns.”

Why it’s trending: The Internet is having a field day, with #KeurigGate trending as users mock the Solicitor General’s inability to read his own brewing manual. “He literally argued in court that the machine ‘intentionally defrauded’ him by not heating water to 195°F, yet he forgot to descale it for six months,” tweeted @LegalBean. The real kicker? The Solicitor General represents the federal government in Supreme Court cases. The meme economy has already produced a classic: a photo of Brewster pointing at a coffeemaker with the caption, “I know the law. You will now be read your rights.”

The irony: The same man who interprets the nation’s highest laws couldn’t interpret a simple user manual. And in a twist that has legal experts choking on their coffee, the machine’s defense attorney is currently citing the “right to remain silent” clause in the warranty. Justice truly is blind—and apparently, caffeine-deprived.