**Simi Valley Fire: Residents Flee Flames, Internet Asks if This Is a Sign From the Kardashians**

Simi Valley Fire: Residents Flee Flames, Internet Asks If This Is a Sign From the Kardashians

SIMI VALLEY, CA — In what authorities are calling “not great, but honestly, could be worse,” the Easy Fire tore through Simi Valley yesterday, forcing evacuations of over 30,000 residents. Firefighters battled wind-whipped flames that threatened to turn the entire valley into a cursed Airbnb listing.

AITA for thinking that maybe, just maybe, the universe finally got sick of us talking about the 2018 Woolsey Fire and decided to hit repeat on the “Inferno” button? Local resident Karen, 54, told reporters she “just got the sage burning perfectly” before her backyard exploded. “Guess my feng shui didn’t account for 70mph wind gusts,” she sighed, clutching a velvet painting of a pug.

TL;DR: Celebrities fled to hidden bunkers. Power was shut off for “public safety,” which in SoCal basically translates to “go touch grass, but also be ready to never see your home again.” The fire was 10% contained as of press time, which in fire math means we’re all just one TikTok dance away from losing our mail.

On the bright side, the smoke did a bang-up job of making the sunset look like an Instagram filter that screams “I’ve made a huge mistake.” The Kardashians have yet to issue a statement, but sources say Kylie is “aware” and “concerned” that her lip kit orders might be delayed.

Stay safe, Simi. Or don’t. I’m not your dad.