**WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a Stunning Display of Bipartisan Unity That No One Asked For, the Senate Voted 99-1 Today to Approve All of Former President Trump’s Cabinet Nominees, With the Sole “Nay” Vote Coming From a Confused Intern Who Thought They Were Voting on Whether to Rename the Senate Cafeteria the “Trump Steakhouse & Salad Bar.”**

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning display of bipartisan unity that no one asked for, the Senate voted 99-1 today to approve all of former President Trump’s cabinet nominees, with the sole “nay” vote coming from a confused intern who thought they were voting on whether to rename the Senate cafeteria the “Trump Steakhouse & Salad Bar.”

The irony? The one holdout, Senator Chuck Schumer, accidentally voted “present” after mistaking the ballot for a menu, later tweeting, “I thought we were ordering lunch. In my defense, the font on the resolution was very similar to the Cracker Barrel menu.” Meanwhile, the only nominee who actually faced any real scrutiny was the one who admitted they’d never read the Constitution, but were “pretty sure it starts with ‘We, the People’ and ends with ‘Yeehaw.’”

Analysts say the real winner here isn’t Trump, but the interns who finally got to see what a functioning government looks like—for about 12 seconds before they were told to go back to making coffee and crying in the supply closet.